Are you a people-pleaser? Learn to say “NO”

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The other day I had a beautiful coaching session with some of the most amazing ladies I have known, and we discussed self-love and about ways how to love yourself. The question of saying “NO” came up, and today I would like to go into this a little bit more.

Many of us can define ourselves as people-pleasers, and we get to a point in our lives when we become “busy”, “good, but busy” or “crazy busy” doing things what we do not want to do.

Have you ever wondered that from all these “busy” things what you are doing during the day, what percentage is something that you do for yourself? What is that you are doing for your personal development, for your good and your dreams and goals?

I believe that our inclination to be a people-pleaser is rooted in our childhood, where we have been taught to be a good child, or we often said “yes” to adults to avoid their anger or disappointment.

Therefore, now, as adults, many of us struggle to say “no”, fearing anger, rejection, disappointment, or what other people will think about us.

But truth is, that we pack our lives with other people`s request, we have less time to do what we want to do, to do what we love and to grow; we fail to take good care of our mental health and we forget to love ourselves because we are busy to love and please others.

And if that is the case, I believe that is time to change.

Just stop for a while and think: how many times you said yes to have a coffee with someone when you didn`t want to? How many meetings did you attended even when you knew deep down inside, that it is not for you, not what you want and there is no reason for you to be there?

James Altucher said: “When you say yes to something you don’t want to, here is the result: you hate what you are doing, you resent the person who asked you, and you hurt yourself.”

So, tune in what YOU want, start reclaiming your precious time and your mental wellbeing, by learning to say no a little bit more often.

I know it can be very difficult sometimes, but here is a small piece of advice: start with little things first, like saying no to an invitation to coffee where you don’t want to go, or saying no when someone asks you to do an insignificant thing, what they can do by themselves very well as well.

Warren Buffet, a billionaire businessman, said: “Successful people say no to almost everything.” Because saying no to something insignificant to you, gives you the time and energy to say yes to what is important to YOU.

Saying no might create the space for what is important to you, what matters to you, and what allows you to follow your dreams and goals.

I wish you all, to have the courage to say no to things and requests what are insignificant to you, to have the courage to listen to your inner voice and dare to follow your dreams.

Much love,


#love #peace #light #motivation #successmindset #authenticity #selflove #selfworth #selfdevelopment #positiveveibes #gratitude #mediatation #publicspeaker #author #dreamsdocometrue #nevergiveup

Published by Krisztina Konya

Krisztina is an author, blogger, company owner, life coach, mum and wife. With a strong academic background (BA (Hons) Business Management), she founded her company in 2018. The company provides consultancy services for those who would like to continue their studies and enrol into educational institutions in London. Beside building up the company image, on personal touch, Krisztina provides help to people to boost their confidence, step out from their comfort zone, help them to set clear goals and in achieving them. She is there for all those who want to chose the path of personal and professional development, by boosting their self-confidence and encouraging them to take action and not to be afraid to follow their dreams. Krisztina offers one-to-one life coaching and personal development workshops. Krisztina's vision is to motivate and inspire as many woman and man as she can. " I will always do it my way, no matter what, And always keep moving forward, no matter what. Even if only I can see it, I will always follow my dream. My vision is to inspire, motivate people and to show them that if you find the reason "why", then you are able to change your life. And I will do it...MY way :)" Much love, Krisztina

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