THE BATTLE WITH MYSELF

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I have decided to change my life. I realized that many of my actions and my thoughts were not the right ones, attracting all negative things in my life. I was struggling to learn to think differently, to think positive. It was a hard period, as I had many limiting beliefs what I have been carried with me for many years. Some of them from the day when I was born, some of them from my childhood and some of them from my teenager years. I found that some memories are not even mine, belongs to someone else. Making a deep cleaning in my mind, between my thoughts I found to be a tough one.

We all have this limiting beliefs, what we carry with us. For me it is a real battle to change the way I think, I feel, I behave.  It is very difficult to get rid of past negative experiences, it is a hard work on myself. But I know exactly who I don’t want to be, therefore I do my best to be the person who I want to be.

But from time to time, I fall again. I fall back, but I stand up. Again and again. As I have promised to myself. Just make a promise to yourself and then keep it. No matter what. Be true to yourself. This is what I am trying to do.  Sometimes it takes me a couple of days. Sometimes it is a matter of hours or minutes. But I know that when I am determined I can succeed. I won’t allow to myself to go back there from where I left.

I am strong and even when sometimes I face difficulties, I try to fight. There is a battle between my conscious and subconscious mind. It is like a training. When you are preparing for the Olympics. Sometimes I lost a battle, but I will never give up. I‘ll try again and again. Taking it as a lesson. Finally I will win.

I realized that I have to give time to myself to heal. The wound will be there, forever. But I won’t allow myself to not to fight. Eliminate all negativity takes time and courage. Courage to change, courage to say no, courage to listen to my intuition, courage to defend negative people, solve and close down problems from the past. Looking on the problem not as a problem, but as a challenge. I decided not to carry the past with me anymore. But on the same time, I need to sort out things first from the past. It is holding me back for a while. But I have to do it. I have to do it, in order to move on.

And working on myself is the biggest challenge of my life. Changing the way I feel, the way I think. Learning to have “me” time, learning to love myself, learning to dare, without fear. I have nothing to lose, but myself. And I don’t want to lose myself again.

And I go on. Because when I think on what I want to be, who I want to be and what I have to give from now on to other, gives me a feeling of peace and excitement on the same time. It gives me a feeling of happiness. I have taste it and I have to keep it. Therefore, I will do my best to learn to stay focused. Happiness is a choice, one’s said. Agree. I chose to be happy. I chose to be free and to do what I love. To do what gives me peace. If this is success, then I am already successful. Winning the battle with myself is a success. I am a successful person. Need to learn to not to be afraid of success. Another limiting belief. Within myself. This is the period when I work on this. I have recognize it. And I will change it.

When I have decided to change my life and to live the life what I always wanted, I thought it is going to be easy. Well, it is not. Because I have to work hard. Not physically hard work but mentally. However, sometimes it manifests as a physical pain. In my head, in my back and shoulder, in every cell of my body, in my muscles. Yes, that’s the fight.

I have reached the point when I believe in myself more than ever. And even if I fall sometimes, like nowadays, I will always find the strengths to get up and fight and go on. I have the motivation, I have been up and down, I have people around me who are doing their best to help me, but on the same time I have to help myself. Taking the decision it was the hardest. But I have faith, I believe in myself and after making small steps and realizing that it actually works, I will never give up again. I will not give up on myself.

That’s the secret: believe in yourself, believe in your ability to win, believe in your ability to change, believe in your dreams. Always.

Author: Cristina Konya

I am a believer. I have faith. I know that happiness comes from inside. I've changed and I enjoy the benefits of changing my mind set and changing my attitude. I am grateful every day for all that is already mine or it's on its way to me. Are you ready to change your life too? Get in touch with me by sending me an email to Cristina.konya@gmail.com and we will find out together if we are a good match and we can work together or what are the options. There is always a choice to make. Chose to live your life as you always wanted. Love, Cristina.

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